Stalkers R Us

Hello, and welcome to Stalkers R' Us. How may we help you?

If you would like to apply to be a stalker, press 1

If you would like to recommend yourself to be stalked, press 2

If your stalker is slacking off, press 3

If you would like some information with one of our helpful operators, Max, Bella, James, Nardo, and Sav, please press 4

If you have no idea why you called this number, simply hang up and kill yourself.

Have a bloody fine day!